Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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