Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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