I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
