i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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