I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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