I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
