Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
