I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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