I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
