Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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