it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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