i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
