Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
