That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
