I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
