He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize