at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
