people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize