Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
