Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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