Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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