So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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