He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
