With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i've created a new STD.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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