JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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