She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize