Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
