Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
