i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
