And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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