Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
