How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
