you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
they call him Oral-B. enough said
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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