WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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