I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
