She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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