I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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