Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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