hotel room ftw
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
