I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All the doctor said was why
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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