Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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