She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
