why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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