Kiss
Puke
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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