Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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