Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
