I'd wear matching sweaters with you
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
