we're blogging at a bar
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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