but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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