I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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