What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
