Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
