My sheets look like a crime scene.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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