I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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