So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize