Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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