i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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